I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
