Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
