I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
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