This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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