I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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