I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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