weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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