I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
