No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize