aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
