is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
