Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
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