my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
