so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
