we have officially lost it.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
