Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
