My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize