I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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