i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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