Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
