Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
