Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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