This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Randomize
