I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize