Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
