she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
