i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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