What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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