The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
