is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
