Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
