dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
