I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
