Three words: puerto rican gang bang
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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