And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
