im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
