Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
