oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
two words...techno handjob
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
