O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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