He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
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it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb