It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
