And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
