Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
tell me about the fingering
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
