I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
