Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
