Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
