How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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