if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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