Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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