dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You may now shotgun with the bride
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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