I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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