This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize