the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
