i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
