oh fat girl friday strikes again...
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
