Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
