I smell stomach acid.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
