I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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