Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
