Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
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