Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
